The time has come for me to fully step into this new role. I have a home that needs tending to and I am it’s primary caretaker. My husband, Ricky, and I discussed this lifestyle fairly early on in our relationship. Up until that point, I had never seriously considered staying at home. In this day and age, most people accept that you simply need two incomes. However, I knew several people who made it work with only one, kids and all. So, even though it’s much less common than it once was, I knew that somehow it was possible.
I’ve been working since I was 16 years old. I worked in a variety of fields, including: retail, food service, medical (CNA), factory, and most recently at the animal shelter. I initially quit my job at the factory because I wanted to go back to school. I worked really hard and did well in my program. However, despite all my efforts, I was never able to find work in that area and ultimately had to accept that it wasn’t going to work out. This is when I started working at the shelter. When we adopted our dog, Ember, she had a lot of issues, including separation anxiety, not to mention the fact that she wasn’t potty-trained (and really struggling to learn). It got to the point that she couldn’t go the 8 hours while we were at work without doing damage and making a mess. I’m sure a lot of people would’ve looked at crate training at this point, but for us, it seemed like maybe it was time to start moving towards the life we had talked about building. So, I left my job .
I am very fortunate in my circumstances. For those who don’t know, my mother and grandmother bought a house a few years back. The vision was always for me to eventually take over the house, but the timing and other factors made it unclear if this would ever come to fruition. But here we are. Ricky and I are alone in a big house with three pets and a bit of land. We have the freedom to decide where we go from here. Ever since we made the decision that we were going to stay and commit to building our lives here, I’ve envisioned a homestead. I pictured myself gardening, preserving, sewing, making homecooked meals, the whole shebang. It’s hard to explain exactly how this idea ingrained itself in my mind because, to be perfectly honest, I don’t know how to do any of those things. Yet, when I looked into the future, that’s what I saw.
I’ve started learning, but this is still the very beginning of a journey that will take a lifetime. I’m aware that there will inevitably be ups and downs. There’s the fear that we won’t be able to make it work. I worry that Ricky will feel tremendous pressure being the sole provider and that I will find myself to be inadequate despite my best efforts. It’s scary. But despite my anxieties, I still see the same thing when I picture our lives down the line.
This feels like the real beginning of the rest of my life. I’m sure many people may suspect that the life of a homemaker is rather routine. However, for me, this is an entirely new world that I’m jumping into. At this point, our house is still a mess. It’s literally only been three days since my mom and grandma moved out and the chaos after a move knows no bounds. But, I’ve already put a dent into getting things cleaned up and organized how I want them. It’s rather exciting to be able to become the fully fleshed out adult that’s been submerged below the surface. I can’t wait to see where this life takes me and what I’m capable of.